One day

 There are 32 pictures in this post. They're mostly cutesy ones. I can get away with this today only.

I wonder how not being in a relationship would have changed my experience living here in New York. I can't really imagine it. I can't think of a single way that my relationship has negatively affected the experience. I can't think of a single way my relationship has negatively affected anything about me or my life. Which is the way it should be. This person is supposed to make your life better-- make the good things better, and the bad things easier. And I have someone who actually thinks my rambling is pleasant. And is pretty strict with me, actually, when I'm complaining, or being a wimp, or not doing what needs to be done. Or worrying. He even tells me what to do about this terrible grad-student insomnia.

He's got a natural togetherness that I love. I LOVE that he FOLDS ALL HIS LAUNDRY. (Seriously, I can't even believe that shit. ...and I love his response to my amazement at that: "What do you want me to do, throw everything in a pile?" Like it's no big deal that he folds everything so neatly. Seriously people, even like undershirts.) Anyway: Happy Valentine's Day!

He drinks margaritas with me

One of the best times we've spent together was this trip to Bakersfield for a conference I was speaking at last year.

Our trip to visit Tucson, before he moved there. 

because his nickname is hippo ...don't ask me, I didn't give it to him. 

BEARD!

My sister's wedding

ROW!

Ahh, this face.

I love how he braves crowds to see floats being blown up.

Central Park + a prime example of how having braces made me look less exuberant and more snooty in pictures. I mean who does she think she is??!

This is always how the ones I take come out.

Patagonia, AZ

Outside Patagonia

Oakland, CA

I just like this one of our feet.

Because this is my blog: My mom and my aunt Jean with baby Gus.

Summer of 2009. 

Valentine's Day, 2010. 

Okay. Now I'm going to a friend's house to watch The Notebook and drink gin.

Who has time?

Not me.

But I wanted to give you an update. I miss giving you updates. Unsolicited Sharing!

I had my dental implant surgery last Friday. I was asleep for more than an hour, groggy for about a day, and just today am able to eat pasta. Good thing too- That's one of my main food groups.

I was selected to be Manager of 12 of my peers in our Workshop this semester. This is the capstone project of this program, and each team performs actual policy analysis work for an actual client. Hello opportunity, I'm Maria!! Our client is an organization called Patagonia Sur, and they want us to conduct a feasibility study to determine whether they should begin a REDD (a UN program, stands for Reducing Emissions from Deforestation and Degradation of Land) project in their lands in Patagonia, Chile. Here's a picture of Patagonia.

So I'm in charge of coordinating...everything. And it's so exciting and challenging. Surprisingly, especially based on last semester, I've been sleeping anyways!

Otherwise this semester hasn't really picked up yet. Still doing the internship...not doing enough job searching...ha! Job searching. Who has time for that? Not me!

Focus on the time you are in right now and don't try to be anywhere else. You will never be in the exact same place again, so learn as much as you can. If you have problems being strategic sometimes, like me, think about things you've done in the past that you don't want to repeat. And just make very small steps towards an idea, no matter how hazy, that will get you somewhere else. That is what I did to get here. I didn't ever say out loud, I can't do this. That part matters too.

I am rusty, as you can see. Too little razzmatazz in this post, and the insights are lite too. My creative energies are going elsewhere, such as to creating a Project Control Plan with 12 separate responsibilities and a calendar and ....a project that could help make the world a little bit better.

This is me today on the way to the post-op appointment. It's snowy and I can't smile because my lip got so swollen...it doesn't look swollen, but it's the gums, or something. They opened everything up!! Ick. Anyway I look more angsty than I am.

<3

BEAUTY

There are no losers. There are only children.


Losers from Everynone on Vimeo.

From that first kid spearing broccoli, I saw nothing other than an adorable, sweet-seeming person. Show me a child that is a loser and...I'll show you a person who needs a character lesson from Dolly.

Because-



I should never complain. You should never complain. Not everyone is my mom, so maybe this will help inspire you, like it did me. The day we're born we start to die, don't waste one minute of this life! Quit whining. You will always have something negative going on, so you're wasting your life if you focus on it.

Dolly is like a pre-Lady Gaga Lady Gaga. Don't tell me her exuberantly re-engineered body isn't just as unsettling and provocative as this (if not more so- her artistic realization of what she's called "just a backwoods girl's idea of glam" is permanent. That kind of commitment is impressive.) :




Did you watch it? You should. As rock-pop songs go it's rich. Gaga and Dolly have a lot in common- song writing talent not the least.

We don't have to be rich and famous to be an example to ourselves and others.

Am I procrastinating by posting videos that inspire me, while also trying to write about fuel efficiency? NO- I'm just trying to do a little more.

Fuel efficiency is really interesting. Did you know that 14-25% of the gas you put in your car actually ends up moving your car down the road? The spark plug ignition internal combustion engine is one of the least efficient engines ever. Why is it dominant? Because energy used to be cheap. Well, it's not anymore. But the interests in power want to trick us into thinking that gas should continue to be cheap.

I used to think we were running out of oil. We're not- we've got plenty of oil and gas and especially coal. But it will be hard to extract, and expensive, and we can't afford to increase our greenhouse gas emissions by as much as using them would. Making things more efficient is the way to go.

Anyway, in other news, my parents are coming to visit in December! Family and friends in New York for the holidays? I have nothing to complain about.

Oh, summer joy

I am done. I am done today. With the first of three semesters at Columbia. I feel excitement, pride, amazement, and accomplishment. And a little like I am emerging from a tornado.

My cousin Alice is arriving at 10pm tonight and we are going to spend 7 amazing days having fun in NYC. I haven't had any days off since the 4th of July....I haven't had 17 days off for...I can't remember how long. I moved here from Sacramento less than 2 weeks after quitting my last job, so I feel like the last time I was totally free for so long was when I was in Peru in 2009. Then back home, then back here, then my friend Alison comes for Labor Day Weekend.

There really were times this semester when I doubted I could do what I had to do. But by the end I hardly felt the old stress at all- I knew that it would all get done. One of our professors told us early in the semester to strive for completion, not perfection- sometimes we did, but I actually think most of us wanted perfect scores, perfect lab grades, perfect feedback from our peers. We care that much.

I definitely learned to focus on what is due tomorrow (or today) and not think about how many things are due in the next 5 days. I came to value highly the experience and opinions of all my 63-odd classmates. I learned eating healthy is really expensive and that it's one of the hardest things to find time for. At the beginning of the semester I felt like my previous experience had given me really valuable benefits- now I feel like I've already learned and been through so much. I gave a final presentation today in Toxicology class playing the role of an EPA specialist, and it was great.

Now to celebrate- but first I have to do some dishes and laundry.

Untitled

So, right now, I feel stressed out. But I know that I have barely seen the tip of this glacier. I have five courses this summer, three of which are over in six weeks and will be replaced by three more (for eight total). Class is three hours, split into two lectures, and the three accompanying labs are two and a half hours long.

I have two workshops- in one, myself and 11 classmates will be analyzing the New York Solar Industry Development and Jobs Act. For the summer and fall, this group will work with our advisor, who has been the director of the ESP MPA (get with the acronyms, people. You have no idea how many I'm facing...) program since its conception. He is also the Executive Director of The Earth Institute (the people who brought you the idea of plate tectonics. And the Millenium Development Goals). These are the big dogs.

Then there's me. Not to be the powerful and smart professional woman who deprecates herself, but on my first day, I dried off after my shower with a new pink towel from Target which left my completely enrobed in super-fine pink fuzz. Don't buy "color-safe" towels on sale from Target, because apparently the only way the color stays on is by coming off WITH the lint. ...I don't think anyone noticed. Some people were late to our first class, so I was far from the object of ridicule. (It kind of makes me feel affinity with one of my heroines, Elle Woods.)

I don't really have time to be writing this post. I don't have time to do anything. This is when it is most important to go to yoga. I went out into the (incredibly! wonderfully!) cooler air tonight, took the 1 to 66th Street, and went to my new yoga studio. And had a wonderful class that reminded me to breathe and have the courage to be gentle and the tenacity to let go. I came out and the city was dark and sparkling and I had a voicemail moving up a deadline .....breathe!!

My orientation on Tuesday was great- I teared up a few times because I was so struck by how this is so what I want to do...I DO want to become a problem-solving environmental professional who makes problems less bad (because you can never completely solve these problems) without creating worse ones, and I DO want to be able to explain science to non-scientists. I know I want to know this. It helps me to remember this when I am facing Avogadro's number again.

Also, what helps me would be your understanding. I at times am feeling so not-there for the people who I am used to being more-there for. I tell myself that this program demands an unprecedented level of effort from me...but does this excuse me from being present in the lives of the people I care most for?

Giving happiness and gratitude (Or, How To Score A Bedroom Like This In NYC For $100 or Less)

.....BACKTRACK TO FRIDAY:

Stuck in my apartment waiting for my mattress.

There are a million free things on Craigslist, but not only can I not leave my apartment I don't have anyone to help me move things, and it's kind of drizzly.

Mattress arrives around 2pm. I soon embark (in the rain) on the 1 train up to the Bronx where there's a Target. I buy cheap sheets and a comforter, a lamp, some canned and nonperishable foods, and a carton of eggs because they're a dollar. Turns out, sheets and lamps and cans of food are heavy. On my way back-- it's only a block to the subway, and five blocks from the stop to my apartment, but still-- I have the unfortunate appearance of someone in need of a sherpa. (NYC Survival Tip: replace purse with LeSportsac weekender when running errands.) At least then it wasn't raining.

Later, my roommate tells me her friend who lives in the building is trying to get rid of her bed. I text her, go take a look, and though it's nice she wants $50 for it. But her roommate is getting rid of everything besides her bed for free! She offers to give me her tall dresser, her desk with drawers, a cupboard and a hutch, a bookcase, an entertainment center with shelves that she used for shoes (I will undoubtedly do the same), a computer chair, and two kitchen chairs! This is what you call freaking awesome, incredibly lucky, and extremely convenient.

The giving roommate agrees to text me when her stuff is ready to go, which happens at about 10:30pm. We move everything but the desk into my room, and she goes off to Panama. I fall asleep around 2am-- my new mattress is a little firm, plus despite all these improvements things don't quite feel like home yet.

TODAY:

I didn't eat anything yesterday besides yogurt and granola, some pasta, and a pita with hummus, so I took myself out to breakfast. Then, as I'm getting ready to go see Central Park and go look for a clock radio, a mirror, and a rug in thrift stores, the girl with the bed texts me. I can have it for free, just come now. So up I go. She and her dad help me move the bed, AND they get the heavy desk onto a dolly and move that in too. Feeling extremely appreciative for the significant ways people we likely won't ever see again help us, I reassemble the bed myself in five minutes, clean things up a bit, and then decide this warrants a sheets upgrade. The set from Target had a hole in it when I took it out of the package, and that just won't do.

After setting off for the Bronx only to learn the line isn't running above 168th St., taking the A train back to 125th (near me), and wasting 45 minutes, I walk to the Marshall's in Harlem. I pass the historic Apollo Theater which now has a Starbucks as one of its neighbors (hey, there's a McDonald's in the central sacred square in Cusco, Peru...it's literally built within four walls that were made by the Incas...so this isn't as bad, I guess). I walk home with Ralph Lauren sheets and three nice big pillows. This time I look just as encumbered as I did Friday, but I have a spring in my step: "HUAAAHHH Yeah That's right I'm BUFF!" (but really guys it's pillows in here....)

So there you go. $300 bed + $100 desk + $150 chair/dresser/shelves/bookcase (a $550 value, not including delivery) MINUS "Awesome fortunate appreciation-inspring good luck discount" + $380 mattress set + $70 bedding = $100. And I'm happy. As you see in the photo, I'm going to use the hutch as a storage bench. The How-To, I guess, is just to have initiative, and go with the flow, and be appreciative of the blessings you are given.

A few shots from the subway and around my block:

The First Post About My Move to New York City

What, you didn't think I was done, did you? I've got to get my numbers up. Five posts? How will anyone ever take me seriously???

The Story About Columbia

I wanted it for years. I literally NEVER thought I would go to this program. I could tell you until I went hoarse how I really, seriously, honestly, only applied last November 1st because I knew that I had to do that application first, to get it out of my head, my heart, my system, and then move on to finding other grad programs. Other plans. I knew I had to do it--I was proud of myself for applying--I even convinced myself by the application date that I was perfect for the program. But I was not prepared to come home the day before Thanksgiving to an empty house, a Fedex envelope on the step, the glance at the return address that merely made me think "they don't Fedex rejections do they??" and then the crying that started as soon as I looked inside.

So here I am.

I have done essentially nothing so far to prepare for this move, other than squeal "New York!!" every time I see the city in a show or movie; I have received confirmation that I will get a housing offer from the university, but since I don't know when I'm moving, I don't know anything yet. Heck, it took me six months to write about it. I'm not worried though- For some reason, I feel like planning a trip to South America was a lot more of an undertaking than moving to New York City will be.

But I move to Manhattan by myself for at least a year in about 5 weeks.

I will miss people, and things. But for someone who lived a normal life in Sacramento, and worked and went to community college and transferred to San Diego and came back home and worked and then took a trip to Peru and then worked...It's the most exciting thing that I have ever made happen for myself.

So! What do I need, besides a backpack, a big puffy knee-length coat, and the restraint to keep myself from stopping at the top of the subway stairs and saying "Ooooooo look at the buildings!" (Just kidding, I know I am going to do that)? I already have the fancy MacBook Pro (thank you federal tax refund), the impractical purse, and loan applications nearing 100 grand.

This is an investment, right? A colleague and friend of mine, when once upon a time I shared my dreams of grandeur, said Columbia would be really hard to get into... "but a Master's degree from Columbia would be a really valuable thing." And I'm proud to say I think so, too. My head is worth it, and so is the Earth.

Missing

I've been missing this little blog. Not rational, I suppose; I've been telling myself "you just started doing that, how can you feel so bad about not posting for a month?" But I have been. Other things I miss:

1 boyfriend

2 girl friends

3-5 yoga classes a week (although ironically I came straight home from work today partially so that I could write a post before I was too tired)

6+ People I haven't seen or heard from in way too long. (Usually I am the type not to mind too much when I fall out of contact with someone...but before, those someones were people I'd known from school or something...now, the people I haven't seen are ones who are very far away.)

21 teeth without ceramic brackets on them. (I got braces again in November, so that my front tooth will straighten up, so that I can get a dental implant next to it. It's not too terrible, I'm being whiny. See below a picture of me, yesterday, feeling wonderful and cute and like my insides had been twisted like a wrung-out towel--this happens to be a good feeling--, post yoga...and I was feeling like for once, I didn't feel ugly with braces on:

(Last week I spoke at a press conference at the Sacramento Capitol on behalf of the New America Foundation. Women with braces -and fabulous shoes- unite!)

I'm going to miss the boyfriend, the girlfriends, and the yoga place (Fusion Yoga Studio) when I move to New York in about a month. I won't miss the braces though, I'm bringin' those babies with me, unfortunately.

I apparently will never have a reason to miss parentheses. Is this a universal brace for my generation, or is it just me?

Try this at home, kids

Do you know one thing I think is great about yoga?

I see people doing crazy things, and can tell they do yoga too.

Like in the very cool, under-appreciated Shakira "She Wolf" video, which has lots of shots like this:

I don't just see this and think, ooo weird, or, ooo sexy. I think, ah-HA Shakira does yoga! (You also have the line in the song that goes, "The moon's my teacher/ And I'm her student.")

And like with Lady Gaga's infinitely, infinitely watchable Bad Romance video. I see this:

and I don't have to think dismally, Damn she is so skinny....how is she so skinny...they must be photoshopping this. I know she's doing uddiyana bandha, a yoga breath posture where you basically breathe out fully, pull your stomach inwards, and raise up your ribcage and your perineal floor (your 'down theya,' if you will). It's good to practice this in the 'umpire' position and engage the throat lock jalandhara banda - put your chin down to 'lock' the air out. Basically anyone can look like this- they just have to know how! And anyways, it's no secret that Lady Gaga does yoga- she's a self-described Bikram addict.

So that's why this is one thing I love about yoga. It makes me think yoga is geology of the body- you learn the rules of how and why things take a certain physical shape, and therefore you can better understand them when you see them. Strata for humans...metamorphic, not sedimentary...

In this posture, or asana, you can tell that I am practicing self-timer mode on my camera:

Everything at the surface

That's how I'm feeling today. And I guess it's the only way to be with a blog, unless you have an actual specific purpose for it. We all know I don't need one of those, right?

It is cool to see the stats from the blog. For a few reasons. While anyone (most people) who reads this from the US has anonymity, I can see that 2 pageviews came from Canada and 1 came from Poland.

And because of my limited fame and web dominance, I can know who these people are! I have a few friends in Canada who I met traveling in Peru. And that lone view from Poland? Ah- must be my BFF Iza!! We met because we were roomies in a hostel in South Beach last spring. We called each other "bff"... I think it started because she wanted to know what it meant when Americans said it...also now remembering telling her '90210' was the ZIP code where the people on the show lived... It's funny what doesn't translate.

Anyway, given the odds, I'm pretty sure that was her, and just seeing that made me think of her. Here's us having frozen yogurt, a year ago this month:

Why is it that the most powerful feelings of longing-- the ones that go, oh my god, that was so amazing, That was the best day/experience ever-- are for the times I have traveled, met people, and seen places i had never known before? Is it just because I have more pictures of those times than I do of the regular routine? Or is it because I am so happy in those pictures? (Maybe you have to look cute AND have a good memory of the experience to feel that way.)

Other reflections on my stats: By consensus, Google Chrome is the best browser. And, contrasting my feelings upon seeing views from Canada and Poland, I felt a little bummed when I realized no one from England had viewed it. Camilla! Hmph!

Here's Camilla:

(Hey dude, it's not my fault that this is the most flattering picture I have that isn't 3 years old. Visit meee!!)

She's my BFF too. We have a sort of weird history, technically-roommatesbestfriendsweirdconvolutedyearlongnotfriendsthenfriendsagain- and I haven't seen her since the day this pic was taken (the whole England thing) but I know I will always consider her my friend. It's interesting, I've known her since late 2006, and we don't really have any connections in common. My other friends don't know her, I don't know anyone else that's in her life. Just each other.

All right, who else can I call out for not reading my blog based on one single linking to Facebook? Where you at, Switzerland (my friend Isaline)? Sheesh.

No, really, where I was going before? My feelings about travel. They were brought up to the surface again today when I watched this video about "the boy Amelie" - a guy who flew to Europe to return a lost roll of film. He captures my feelings exactly, especially about the people you meet, through his honesty and openness. Traveling makes me aware of life itself; it consists of the experiences that make you realize how lucky and weird and coincidental everything that happens to you is. We forget it, but doing something random and adventurous makes us remember. You find yourself in a boat in a jungle, in a bus in the Andes, in some totally random person's condo over Miami because your hostel roommate met another Polish girl who hosts travelers via Couchsurfer and serves them delicious wine, and you go, wow, I am alive, and anything could happen tomorrow.

Which is what life... is.

(So sayeth the 25-year-old.)

So, before the hits to this blog go through the roof and crash Blogger's server, as they surely will any day now (I just gotta get Lady Gaga to tweet me), It was cool to see those first few pageviews. They brought up thoughts of the living I won't ever forget!

Below: This is Isaline, in Pisaq, a pueblo in the Sacred Valley in the Peruvian Andes. Two years ago this week we spent a week there learning Spanish.

Eerie/coincidental/100% honest update: just checked stats. I just got a page view from Switzerland!